Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Living with a Jew

Just a little over one year of marriage, and we have lived with my husband's best friend, above a converted barn that doubles as a business; by ourselves in a shitty single-wide that was so far out in the country, the cable company laughed at us when we asked about an install; with a Christian widow that kept a lighted cross on her front lawn, as if we needed to help the KKK find us even faster; with a family member, who I think is a witch/psychic; with a house full of black people; and now I'm living with a Jew, his wife, son and the little one that is on the way!

It all started to go south on inauguration day. You would think that it would have been a happy day for black people everywhere! But it was one of the worst days I had experienced up to that point in my life. Let me explain. Three weeks prior to January 20, 2009, my property had been vandalized at my rental property. The following weekend, someone broke into my car, popped the clutch, and directed my wheel into the tree line adjacent to my lot.

I didn't have any insurance that would cover my loses, since the family member we were renting from had refused to give us a lease, even after we requested it a dozen or so times. Said family member then sued me 8 months later for 'damages, rent owed, and basic bullshit' since she is a lying cunt. You know who you are, bitch!

That is another post all together. Back to the worst day so far. My husband and I are excited because we finally get our insurance check from the car vandalizing incident. We decide that we are going to invest the money in a car that can be flipped, and we will make payments on a car we will drive. We basically pick the two cheapest pieces of shit cars that we can get away with, and still have a little money in our pockets. We sign the papers and buy one for $2,500 and put $1,000 down on the one we plan on financing. Unfortunately after we sign the papers and drive the car more than five miles down the road, it starts sputtering and smoking. We will have to put more work into this than we thought.

I go to the auto parts store and order some things for the green monster that was a 97 mustang, and then head to the Wal-Mart to see about an oil change. While on my way, I get a call from a strange number, I don't usually answer my phone if I don't know who is on the other side, but something told me to pick up. It was my husband, telling me that he was at Wal-Mart, and he had just lost his job. What a great way to start off the next four years!

Life began to suck from there. So-called family has driven me to the point of insanity, and perfect strangers have enriched my life to the point of me wanting to live it again. The most outrageous thing of all is that I am living with a couple that are a decade younger than I am, but their life is on track, why? They told their families to fuck off years ago. Something I never had the courage to do until I had finally reached my breaking point.

And today, as I look around my bedroom in their home, I can honestly say that this has been the best place I have lived in the last 6 months. I have not been accused of doing crack LMAO (if you go look at my picture, you will know why this is absurd), I have not been accused of dealing drugs, and I have four walls with a window, a door with a child-lock on the outside, a dog to play with, and a two year old for mommy practice. SO FAR, This JEWISH family, kicks ass. And he knows how to pinch a penny... that's my nigga, that Jew standing right over there by the store brand cereal. I want to learn from you, teach, mold me, make me a JEW!

Monday, July 21, 2008

Marriage and stuff

So my boyfriend and I decided to get married sooner rather than later. It's one of those don't ask, don't tell things. We had only dated for about six months, but we knew that we were right for each other and we didn't want anyone else.

Bad thing about this: after some deep conversations with my new husband, even though he makes me feel beautiful in every way, I found out that when we were first starting to hang out as friends, that he wasn't attracted to me physically.

Which on some level is not a bad thing, he saw me for ' me ' and fell in love with that person, and the physical connection came later.

I guess I just never wanted to hear that he wasn't attracted to me when we first met. I wanted to hear how cute he thought I was, or how I had beautiful eyes and a great bust line and an ass that he just wanted to smack! But I didn't count on him dropping a bomb on me. At least I know he loves me for me, and not because of some superficial BS.

We are living in separate places right now, simply because of money issues. Which is a terrible way to start a marriage in my mind. So, I get to go over to his one room apartment and watch him play video games most of the time and eat food that should be packed in a kids lunch box instead of going into my mouth.

I am in a rutt when it comes to my weight loss right now. On the scale I have lost 10 pounds, but I feel like it should be coming off more rapidly. I rotate my eating habbits in that sometimes I will go two or three days and just eat vegetables and then I will eat chicken or fish for a few days and back and forth and so on. I am not sure what I need to do right now to continue to lose weight, but as soon as it starts coming off in a more consisntent manner, I will let you know what I am doing!

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Thin is always in

There are many drawbacks to being over weight, besides the obvious health factors that go hand in hand with obesity. But thin people always seem to get these convenient little perks to their everyday life... "Thinconveniences", I like to call them that! This can be defined as the convenient things that a thin person can look forward to during their day!

Top Five 'Thinconveniences'

1: Their clothes fit - If you are naturally a thin person, who has never had to struggle with weight issues, I find it hard to imagine you staring at your closet wondering which item to pick that you are not going to have to see saw over your hips.

2: People think they are more attractive - If I am at a club or bar surrounded by thin women, even if they are ugly as sin, men are still going to look at them because of their bodies. Hey buddy, I'm cute, down right sexy if you take the time to look at me!

3: You get treated better - On more than one occasion I have been out in public and have had men hold the door open for the 'delicate little female' and then turn around and shut it right in my face. I'm overweight, not a troll, be nice to me too, asshole!

4: When people stare, you like it - As an overweight person, being stared at is almost taboo, but if you stare at a thin person, it is usually because you find them attractive, or they might have toilet paper stuck to their shoe! Either way, heavier people do NOT like to be stared at, and 9 out of 10 of my thin friends don't mind at all, because they have never felt the negative aspect of it.

5: You can eat all you want and not be a 'lazy pig' - People automatically assume that if you are fat, you eat all day long and do nothing but sit in front of the tv. I have several thin girlfriends who eat and eat and eat, never gain an ounce, don't work out and they have a desk job! Me - I can eat like a bird, work out 3 hours a day and lose only five pounds.

So these are the top five things that I would like to be able to say were convenient for me, but I will have to save them for my small counterparts.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Men who are just little bitches!

I had to delete this post.... DAMN

The beginning of my day

Tuesday 2.26.08

I started my day out at about 7 am. Waking up next to Daniel is always the best part of my day. I never thought after several failed relationships and one disastrous one that I could find myself being happy with such a sweet and simple man.

Why I am blogging: I got the idea from a friend of mine that I recently had the pleasure of taking an improv class with. Her name is Tiffany Christensen and she has just published her first book "Sick Girl Speaks". She told me that blogging helped her to stay on top of her writing every day. I hope to follow in her footsteps in that aspect at least.

What this is about: I have been over weight my entire life. Since childhood, really since before I could walk, I was heavy. The purpose of these journals is to show how childhood obesity and obesity in adulthood has affected my life, career, relationships, health, really everything that encompasses who I am and what I am about, it has all been touched and tainted in a way by my outward appearance.

I hope that in a small effort I am able to bring acceptance of self, and of others, to the forefront of relationships. People's first impressions of you always seem to matter, and when you are at an obvious disadvantage from the beginning, it takes twice as long to make a good connection.

This is the beginning: I hope to blog everyday so that I can compose my thoughts into a published work, and bring a little inspiration to someone out there that is just like me... until next time!